Venting

I realized something last night. Over the past few years, I have slowly, and without even being aware of it on a conscious level, surrounded myself with positive people. People that want better for themselves and those around them, people that may not be exactly where they want to be, but are striving to be better people.

I have a friend whose mom always told him growing up, "Watch out who you hang out with, because you may end up just like them." I want to be around people that are wanting to improve not only their own lives, but to make a difference in the world. People that recognize we all have to take responsibility for where are lives are. I want to be the kind of person that steps up to the plate of accepting my responsibility for my own actions and how I impact those around me.

I pray that when people have been with me, they leave feeling encouraged and uplifted. I lived in a dark place for a long time and now feel so grateful to be in a position where I even have anything to offer. I was in "survival" mode for a long time. Even so, there are people that when bad things happen they just roll over and accept it as their lot in life. I was never that person - I would try anything, do anything to find answers. I know that God works in mysterious ways, so the answer is not always in the form we expect. If someone would have told me that powder in a can would be the avenue God chose to heal me, my family, my mom, and so many I love and care about - I probably would have laughed in their face! On the other hand, like so many things over that five year period, I gave it a shot. Praise God!!

I guess what I am saying is now that I am choosing to be around people of true integrity, people that are high quality, genuine, good people, when I spend some time with people that are not - they blatantly stand out. I feel bad for them, but if they do not want to change their lives, if they are happy with being negative, bad mouthing others, drinking themselves into an oblivion repetitively for no apparent reason, ignoring the needs of their own kids, much less others in their lives - I do not choose to be around those kind of people. In fact, after experiencing it, I feel kinda disgusted and dirty. Weird. I didn't realize how truly far I had come in my personal growth.

Life is short, and I plan to make the most of what I have left. I want to laugh and have fun. I want to help people that do want change and want a better life for themselves and others. I want to make some kind of difference, and I want to be around people that have these same general goals.

"To the mediocre, mediocrity appears great”
Indian Proverb

"Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go so much further than people with vastly superior talent.”
Sophia Loren