Saturday, October 18, 2008


Some one dear to me has pointed out an interesting fact. I say fact because I think he really is onto something. He said, "You know one of your best qualities and one of your biggest downfalls is that you expect the best from people?". I asked for further explaination and it was pointed out to me that I always look for the very best in people. Now, that was a few days ago and I have been digesting and now have a few thoughts. Some people probably know what they are going to say before they begin writing it down. Writing actually helps me to process things and figure out what I am thinking and feeling.

You know the old saying: "Hurt me once, shame on you, Hurt me twice, shame on me"? Something like that anyway...well, I think of it often. Why? You might ask, because I have unreal expectations of people. I can have a person in my life that hurts me and then next time I encounter them, do I expect hurt again? NO! I am actually shocked when I end up hurt again. Hence the downfall my friend pointed out. I will be shocked each and everytime this same person does something hurtful. I have unrealistic expectations - that somehow miraculously this asshole will suddenly have a bit of tact.

The flip side is that I feel all people have an inherent potential to be the best they can be. I have actually watched people evolve into great leaders, people that were far from that when I first met them. It is an amazing thing to observe. The thing I forget is the most important aspect of expecting a change in people. The truth is that I am out of the equation really. For change to occur, change must be desired. A person must desire a change for themselves and that is the beginning of change.

I am not sure what I will do with this observation. I do not want to expect bad things from people. I want to keep believing that people are inherently good. At the same time I want to protect myself from being hurt. I think for now I will take those few people that seem to be like a poison to me and compartmentalize them as toxic and set healthy boundaries for myself.

Thanks for putting up with my ramblings...any thoughts?


Friar Tuck said...

Wnat led to this chain of thought

Shellmo said...

I think when people have the best expectations of you - it can make others want to live up to them - I think it can have a positive effect on people.

reliv4life said...

Friar - Jake led to this train of thought...He thought of it!

Shelley - agreed with normal is that other 2% that concern me!

Jen said...

You and I have a lot in common,
I try to give people the benifit of the doubt and sometimes that just doesn't work out.