Thursday, September 18, 2008


"Dear Baby, I hope someday somebody wants to hold you for 20 minutes straight and that's all they do. They don't pull away. They don't look at your face. They don't try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight, without an ounce of selfishness in it." Jenna

This quote is from the movie The Waitress. A lot of the movie is Jenna narrating by writing a letter to her unborn baby. It is an unusual movie, but that is not the point I want to make here.

I think this quote is basically about unconditional love. The picture of being held for "20 minutes straight" by someone with no ulterior motives sounds like unconditional love and affection to me. Isn't that what we all want? To know someone in this world loves and cares for us in such a way - WOW! What a thought. I think 20 minutes would seem like a long time in the middle of that embrace. I have experienced something similar for a few minutes, maybe one or two - but 20? Nah. Neither have I ever done this for someone else.

One of my love languages is physical affection - yes, my friends, I am a hugger and a toucher. If we were in the middle of this conversation in person I would pat your arm or touch you in some affectionate way. That is one way I connect with people. So, maybe that is why this sounds like heaven to me. I must admit that when I think of the times I have felt truly, honestly, 100% safe and loved it was wrapped in someones arms, mostly my mama's arms. The funny thing is that my mom is not that affectionate of a person - she could go days without being hugged. I have learned to just speak up and tell her, "mom, will you hug me?" when I am having a bad day or just need a moment to connect. She is always accommodating. Right this minute, even though I am sitting in Montana and she is in New Mexico I can think of being wrapped in her arms and I can feel safe. That is a good feeling.

So, maybe it is not really about the hugging actually. Maybe it is about someone just wanting to be with you without seeking anything in return. That seems so rare in our world, yet seems like it is something we would all benefit from. It would be the purest, most honest love in the world. God loves this way - obviously - because what could I ever give Him in return for all He has and does do for me. Nothing could ever compare. I give Him my heart, and try to give Him my life in service, but selfishness creeps in always anyway. I want to love like this - unconditionally. I want to let go of my fears and vulnerabilities and not worry about being unacceptable. I want to just LOVE - just give of myself without worrying if my needs will be met, or if I am going to be rejected. Christ was rejected by many, that didn't change who He was. I want to hold someone for 20 minutes without thinking of anything else, but them. Or listen to someone talk about themselves for 20 minutes without planning in my head what I will say next - JUST listen. I want to just be there - talking or no talking - in a comfortable silence - just being present with that other person with no ulterior motives. I want to be a better me.


Friar Tuck said...

I think from about the 10 minute mark to the 15 minute mark i would just feel trapped

reliv4life said...

Friar - LOL!! yes - you do like your personal space!! it is true, heaven for one would be hell for another.

citizen of the world said...

I love to be held, but only if it's someone I want to be held by! But I'm a hugger, too.

Shellmo said...

I'm a hugger - for certain people. I think 5 minutes might be my maximum - ha,ha!

Jen said...

hmmm.. maybe. But just don't touch my feet!