Saturday, September 27, 2008

Jay - Part II

Well, once we got home from mission trip I didn't see Jay much. We lived 5 hours apart. We wrote letters and there were phone calls. We went there for a visit once, then he drove up and stayed in Odessa for a week.

That was a crazy week and not one I am particularly proud of. We did quite a bit of drinking and quite a bit of parking and making out. It was not a good thing. I was easily swept up into the moment, but regretted it later, ever experienced that? To this day I have no idea what would happen to me when I was around him - it was like I lost all sense of reasoning. I hardly recognized myself. When that week was over and I had time to reflect, it felt scary. I did not even recognize who I became when I was around him - I certainly was not proud of my behavior.

At the end of that week Jay drove out of town and I have not seen him to this day. We did reconnect about a year and a half ago by email. We both remember the ending of our relationship differently, but it doesn't really matter. After that summer he followed his dream and became a marine. He fought in the Gulf War. He did tell me that sometimes out there in the desert he would think about my mom's chicken fried steak. I wasn't brave enough to ask if he ever thought of me out there, somethings are better left unknown.

I was sad to find out that my dad had said some rude comments to Jay that week he stayed with us. Weird to find out 20 years after the fact. I would like to believe it was my dad's way of looking out for me. Knowing my dad though, I think he was just being the racist, arrogant jerk he can play so well.

I am a firm believer that things happen like they are suppose to happen. Jay is married and has 3 kids. Do you remember my friend Herman that I asked for prayer for awhile back when he was in the hospital? Well, he is Jay's dad. Herman and I email almost daily. We reconnected a few years ago and it has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. He is a huge source of encouragement and always brings a smile to my face. We talk about lots of things, but Jay rarely comes up. I think we both respect that.

You will be happy to know this concludes my "boyfriend saga"! I don't know why, but I needed to write this for me. I think sometimes it is good to see where you came from to appreciate where you are now.

The next chapter will be about my Knight in shining armor that swept me right off of my feet - Sean.


Friar Tuck said...

Was Jay of another race?

What did your dad say?

reliv4life said...

Friar - Jay is Mexican. I can't remember the exact words my dad used. Something about Jay just needing to head home and not return cuz he would never be able to give me what I was financially accustomed to having.

Shellmo said...

Looking forward to hearing about your "knight!"
P.S. My husband is Mexican.

reliv4life said...

Shellmo - can't figure out where to start! I love the Mexican culture and heritage - I love that family is so important to them and how they love each other and stick together - you are blessed to be a part of it, don't you think?