Get Smart

We went to see this last night - I really liked it a lot! I like goofy movies though... So keep that in mind. I always feel like life is too serious, I like to escape reality when I go to a movie! Even though we went at night and paid $8.50 a person - it was still worth it.

Sean and Jake did not see Get Smart. They saw Wanted, because according to Jake, "Angelina Jolie killing people - what could be hotter than that?!" They didn't comment too much after the movie...which probably means she was REALLY hot!

Dinner!

It is just Lizzie, Jake and I tonight, so we had Chocolate Waffles for dinner. They were GREAT! Lizzie helped me cook, it is so fun to have a small one that likes to cook again. Reagan was never into cooking, in fact she still isn't. In fact, now that she is a youth intern at the church they have given her cooking duty a few times, and probably regretted it. I think because I have cooked for the youth group and love to cook, the youth director just assumes Reagan knows how. NOT!! Jake is a different story though. He has always loved to be in the kitchen with me and now cooks stuff for us. He makes great Italian or Cajun food. It looks like Lizzie is going to be a chef as well. I have been baking and cooking more this week - it is a good stress relief for me. Who needs therapy - give me a clean kitchen to mess up and I am happy!!

Custer's Last Stand

Did you know it is the anniversary of the Battle at Little Big Horn? Yes - it is the anniversary of when ole Custer bit the dust. We are going tomorrow to the reenactment. I saw it a few years back. My mom and Lizzie have never seen it and we are all going tomorrow.It should be really fun. I think Lizzie will get a real kick out of it. They make it look pretty real.

Hope you all have great weekends!

The Three Little Kittens

The three little kittens have lost their mittens and they began to cry... or they could care less and just slept!

These are the new additions to our family -
Reagan's is named Mr Darcy, from Pride and Prejudice of course!
Jake's is named Squeak, because he literally squeaks.
Lizzie's is named Milo, from the movie Milo and Otis - he has also been Tiny, Teeny, and other things, so he is Milo today anyway!

Logs

We lifted all the logs in our home using block and tackle and my suburban. It was interesting to say the least! I look back on the mixed memory of building our house with good and bad feelings. When I think about lifting the logs, it is a good memory. Each log we lifted got us closer to the top.

Today Sean, my husband, is putting up a log swing. He has used 3 logs and made the swing support. I will get a picture as soon as it is up...at this moment he is redoing one log leg...why, you ask? Because I just broke it! It was all ready to lift into the four foot deep holes he has dug. He had it all rigged up and just called me out to use the truck to pull it up and then the plan was for it to fall into the holes. That was not what happened. It was not rising with the gentle pull I was using, so I decided it just needed a jump start. So, I let the rope get slack, then backed up quickly, thinking the jerk would pull it off the ground, and hence into the holes...NOT! When I ran out of slack the truck came to a sudden dead stop and actually jerked the logs a little to the left, and cracked the left log about two feet! So, here I am in the cool house while Sean is unbolting the broken log, and choosing a replacement, cutting it to length, and rebolting it. He was actually nice about it, all things considered. Or - maybe he just choose not to say anything under the circumstances, yes, probably a wise decision!

He and I are so opposite. If you are anywhere near me, you do not have to wonder what I am thinking or feeling. I do not really hold much in. I will say that with maturity and lots of counseling :), I have learned to use a filter system in most instances. If I had worked all day on something and it had taken this turn, I would be ranting and raving and for sure using some curse words! I would not really blame anyone, but would be pissed at life in general. But this is Sean, is he upset? Who knows? Is he frustrated? I couldn't tell you. How could he not be though? That is what I don't get. It will come out eventually though, probably on some poor innocent person. That is the thing with negative emotions, they build up like a pressure cooker and when they blow someone always gets burned.

I better get some pictures of the swing structure so you can see it!

Thunderstorm

I love that I was cold in June! After being born and raised in Texas and living there the first 30 years of my life, I LOVE that I just ran home in the rain and was actually cold! It has been warm here the past week. I won't say hot, because I know what real heat feels like, and this was not it. But all things are relative, and after a cool spring, heck, it has been a long cold winter until a few weeks back! Anyway, it was warm last night, the first night that has been a little uncomfortable due to the temp. So, the fact a storm blew thru and I had goose bumps this afternoon thrilled me to death! I have always prefered to be cold than hot. You can always add clothes, but only take off so many...

Happy summer!

Finally!

I am finally blogging, I can't believe it! It has been a busy week. Besides that, sometimes I am not even sure where to start... do I talk about the crummy stuff that has been going on around here lately? Probably not...I don't like to dwell on the bad stuff. The run down is that although there are A LOT of unbelievably fabulous things that have been happening in my world in the past year...there are some major stuggles as well. Relationships are interesting to say the least. I do not consider myself a quitter in any sense of the word, but I will admit that I am weary. I am learning to let go of all the stuff that I have no control over. I am trying to be teachable and accept responsibility for my part, but I can not continue to carry anyone else's garbage...if they choose to not get rid of it, then they will have to haul it around themselves. OK...I will stop here before I just let all my frustration out on innocent people!

Something cute: Lizzie my 6 year old has lived in Montana all her life and has NO idea what true heat really is. We have had a very wet, cold spring. The sun finally showed up on Saturday and has been here all week! It has been very nice in the lower 70's. Perfect weather, really. Well, sunday she climbed into the van, turned the air conditioner on her face, and exclaimed, "It is a death trap out there!" SO funny!! She has no idea what a death trap could really be...like Las Vegas or Houston!! Anyway, this week she has done Vacation Bible School all week, only she calls it "church school". Tonight they are having a Bar B Q and having games and such for the families... she came in a little bit ago and said, "Mom, tonight at that church they are having steak for us." She heard Bar B Q and just decided steak I guess. That is probably the only thing she ever sees us grill. I avoid grilling much since I cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner on a grill when we lived in a travel trailer while building our house...that is a topic for another day... I feel certain it will probably be burgers and hotdogs, don't you think?

OK...I am off to read your blogs and get caught up!

I'm Back!!

OH my goodness...our internet has not been working for DAYS!!! But - I am back!! I am so glad. Life feels kinda empty without a computer.

I am off to get a massage, but will do a REAL post later!

Driving

Today I drove to town. Big deal you say? Well, actually it is a big deal. One thing I have not talked a lot about is the anxiety I have experienced. I should go back years ago, before I experienced my Environmental Illness. I had always just gone and done anything I wanted to do. I thought nothing of grabbing the car keys and heading where I wanted, whenever I wanted. Well, when I got sick, it all changed. When I would have an allergic reaction, I would get dizzy, nauseous, and I couldn't think straight. What started happening was if I was out and about and had an allergic reaction, I couldn't remember how to get back home. As a result, I stopped driving. I would only go to town if my husband or my mom was with me.

I am so grateful to be getting my life back! This past year has just been one small victory over another. I have been driving with to town with my kids for about 6 months. Well, today I drove to town alone! It was scary and not simple, but I DID IT! Just one more small step in claiming back my life. Praise God for all He has done and continues to do!

I Wonder...

I wonder if we knew how things would end before we even started how our choices would change. If a person knew they would end up divorced, would they still go into the marriage looking for the good things that will come out of it? I wonder if that person would choose to not marry, knowing the divorce was inevitable, and then live a life more lonely and less fulfilled?

I just think I am better off NOT knowing what my future holds. I think if I would have known some of the things life has held for me, I would have been too terrified to actually live life. The truth is, life can be scary. Well, it scares the hell out of me more than I want to admit. The truth is, I want to look at life as an adventure, kind of like the thrill of a roller coaster. It brings apprehension and suspense, but ends up being fun in the end. I am learning to look at things that scare me as a new thing to experience and overcome with victory. I am learning that the strong woman I once was is still inside there, just waiting for the chance to peek out. I refuse to let my fears of "what if" keep me from living this life to the fullest! So, I don't need to know how it will all end, I just need to live life to the fullest, One Day at a Time.

Neighbors

I am going to approach a sticky subject - neighbors. Here has been my experience, and I would love to hear yours. This is my second experience with what I would call, "anal" neighbors...I don't know another word to use, maybe neurotic or obsessive compulsive. These people literally have PERFECT yards and PERFECT houses. They spend hours and hours making sure this is so...yet I never see them smiling. It does not appear they enjoy all this yard work. Maybe deep inside them they do, but I sure can't tell. Our neighbors now have lived by us for 3 years and it was an unfinished yard, so the first two summers I thought maybe they would just enjoy it once it was completed. This year it seems they are just inventing things for themselves to do.

Now, they are venturing out of their own yards and bringing their obsession into the lots around them. In the past week alone, I have watched them spray Round-up along my own horse pasture and an entire section of grass beside my mom's horse pasture. She does not have horses, but we put ours over there and they were actually in there at the time! These sections are on OUR property and are mowed, even if they are not used for anything. The point is THEY are NOT hers to decide to kill everything on!

Sunday her husband spent about 3 hours digging a trench in the middle of the road so a large rain puddle would drain. Now, as you can imagine that puddle is drained, but there are TONS more of them! Here is the kicker, the road has an easement so these particular neighbors and one other house has the right to drive back and forth to their places, but half the road is on our property and the other half is on mom's.

At first I was angry! REALLY angry - then my wise teenage daughter just started laughing and reminded me how truly pathetic a life they must have if these are the only things they have to worry about. I guess she is right. I have not said anything, but sure hope next time they venture onto my place I don't just blow up and let them have it!

Priorities

It was a great trip to Pocatello. The training was done by some neat people. One of them was a lady I have looked up to for several years. She has built a business around 8 kids, so she is pretty much a no non-sense kind of woman! She doesn't really accept excuses from herself or others. She makes more in one month that most people make in a year. She is very successful, but totally surprised me this weekend. Some of the things that I felt really spoke to me were about prioritizing. One of the things she said was, "Don't lose your relationship with your kids to build this business." That spoke to me... too often I have been putting my kids off to just make one more call. I am letting the distributors under me determine my schedule, instead of setting my own schedule. Basically, I need some balance, and didn't even recognize it until this weekend. I think part of it is that I really LOVE what I do. When you actually get to see people's lives transform in front of you, it can become addicting.

I think this weekend just reminded me of who I am, really. Since I was a little girl, I just wanted to be a mom. It was always a dream of mine. I actually wanted 6 kids, but am SO glad I only have 1/2 that many...I really would be insane! I even became a Dental Hygienist in order to be able to make decent money and work part time once we did have kids. So, fast forward...I have 3 fabulous kids, and I will only blink and they will all be grown and gone. I will never get this chance with them again. So, I will choose when and with who I will sacrifice precious time with my kids to be with. That is just the facts. I am not going to be pulled this way and that way anymore. I am strong in my beliefs and where I want to be as a woman, a mother, and a Reliv distributor. I just needed a shove back in the right direction.

So, from now on, it will be #1 - God, #2 - Family, #3 - Reliv - in that order! AAAAAHHHHHHHH I feel better already.

Road Trip #2!

I am off on another road trip! This time we are going to Pocatello, ID to see Trish Fischer. She is a great Reliv distributor that will be training us! YEA!! I am very excited. It is funny, these people I have heard of and listened to on CD's and phone calls for almost 2 years and then to meet them in person! SO FUN!!

Today will be my good friend Julie and another distributor named Dex.... just the 3 of us... hope Dex took his wheaties today to be stuck in the car with Julie and I!!

Back to Trish - when I actually get to meet these people in person, to me they feel almost like a celebrity...but the truth is, they are just average people that have started exactly where we all start and have just persevered thru the discouraging times. They are always very humble and it appears somewhat embarrassed at all the attention. Pretty great people to surround yourself with.

So - here's to all of you having a great weekend - and coming a little closer to making your own dreams come true - whatever they are!! I feel like I am living a dream come true and just want everyone to find that peace and contentment - it is possible - never quit believing!

Grey's Anatomy

OH my gosh - I LOVE Grey's anatomy! I used to watch it all the time. I have always Tivo'd it and watched it commercial free. Well, then we had the writer's strike and I got used to not watching TV...so, when it came back this spring with 4 new episodes, I never did watch them or even remember to record them. So - the past two days I have watched all four on my computer... and it was GREAT! By the way, they are now having 30 second commercials during the Internet viewing...that is kind of a bummer, but still SO worth watching it.

I don't even know why I like the show. Is it the sex...maybe, the blood and guts, maybe... I really more think it is the way it is written. So often I do not see what is coming and it takes me by surprise. Yes...maybe that is it the intrigue and excitement of not knowing what is coming next.

I am so not like that in real life. I am not really a planner, per say, but I kinda like to know the general game plan. Maybe I should throw out my rule book and live a little and fly by the seat of my pants more often. I am going to try to add more adventure and excitement to my daily life. I remember my Grandma that way...no matter what was planned, she would get what we call "a wild hair" and we would be off doing something unexpected. I have those genes in me somewhere, I need to let them come out more often!

Laundry, Laundry, and more Laundry

Is laundry reproducing at anyone else's house? Because it sure is at mine. I swear, I spend time in that laundry room and knock it all out... go back a few days later and it has been reproducing like rabbits! I feel like this is an area I am perpetually behind... I do a few loads, then I notice we are all wearing clothes that will show up in there tonight...maybe Adam and Eve had the right idea. I truly do not enjoy housework. You all know that, cause I have certainly expressed my disdain for it many times before.

I have made much progress at keeping my house much less cluttered, much cleaner most of the time and I enjoy that... but the laundry still perplexes me. I think part of it is you need to be around when doing laundry, to actually transfer the clothes to the dryer then to the baskets or hangers and then to the designated closet or drawer. When I am not home it is not getting transferred...instead it is stagnate - literally! I am home today, so I am doing laundry! Yea!! I guess yea, I am glad to have clean clothes, just not enjoying the process. BUT, as my friend, Herman, would say, I am NOT having to boil lye soap and water out in a big metal pot and scrubbing with a scrub board... so I will quit complaining now... thanks for listening!

17 years ago ...

My oldest daughter is 17 today - June 3 - It does not really seem possible. I was 22 when she was born and I couldn't wait to meet her. I can remember the first time I felt her move like it was yesterday - I was standing in my bedroom in Odessa, TX. I wasn't even sure it was a movement, being a first time mom and all - but I thought it might have been. Then over the next days and weeks it grew stronger and there was no more doubt... It was an amazing feeling to know your child is growing inside of you. I know one thing, all the things I wondered about..."what would he/she be like, etc..." never prepared me for this amazing young woman I am now proud to call my daughter. She is one of the loveliest people I have ever known. She is kind and gracious. She is strong and yet sweet at the same time. She truly learned to find and use her voice in the past year. She has always been a typical older child, in that she was always our very compliant child. She has now learned to speak up for what she needs and feels and takes care of herself in a way she never did before. I am SO proud of the strong young woman she has become. She inspires me to be a better person. I am so grateful to God for giving her to me 17 years ago. I feel very blessed and honored to have been intrusted with her. She is now beginning the steps to go off and start a life of her own. She will be fine, I have no doubt...but what in the world will I do with out her? I know I didn't deserve to be the mom of this fabulous creature. But boy, I am SO glad God saw fit to share her with me anyway! Happy Birthday, Reagan! You are truly a gift!