You know, there are just people that enjoy drama - I am NOT one of them. There are people that are not happy and want everyone around them to be as miserable as they are - I am NOT into those kind of people. It is sad really. All my life though, I have given people like that the benefit of the doubt and been compassionate, and you know what, seems I always end up drawn into their drama!! I HATE that!
I have found a solution - there is no science behind this, I am just making it up as I go along, but it makes sense to me. Kinda like that run-on sentence...anyway... This is what I think - 95% of people in a crisis or bad situation truly want to get out of it. I hesitate to call them "victims" but honestly, I am talking about good people that are in situations out of their control. The other 5% want to be exactly where they are so they can whine and moan about it. I do not even know if this is on a conscience level, but they are the people that make repetitive bad choices and refuse to look to themselves for change and continue to blame everyone and everything around them for where they are. These are the people I have found that steal my dreams - because I allow them to. Or - I always have in the past.
I have found something that helps. If I keep my eyes on where I want to be, and keep moving forward - soon those people are long behind me. In the past, I felt guilty deserting them and stayed with them and tried to help them, but they were not matching my efforts. These types of people will just suck the life right out of you if you stay long enough. I am learning to run!! I will match their efforts 100% - but if they are not giving any effort on their own, I am now just moving forward. There is a difference in being compassionate and being a door mat. Glad at 40 I am finally figuring it out!
"I'm a dream chaser, a star gazer, that's what I am. But I've always known I'd come back home when I found my rainbows end. Rainmakers and heartbreakers could never change my plans. Dream chaser, that's what I am." The Judds