This is Sean and I on our 22nd anniversary last month. It has been a long past few years. I am not even talking about all the stress of my illness and all the repercussions that involved. I am just talking about our family here.
Our family has been broken in many ways. Sean and I got married young and came into our marriage with lots of baggage. We had done some pretty emotionally unhealthy "dances" all of our married life until a few years ago. We didn't even see them as "dances" until we got healthy enough emotionally to notice them. When we started to try to change - it caused a lot of friction for both of us. It was painful. Our older two kids also had quite a bit of anger and resentment that began showing up. It was hard, but good that all was coming out in the open so it could actually be dealt with.
Are we on the other side? I would like to think so. Our communication as a family is much better, no one feels they have to shelve anything anymore. Sometimes we have moments that we slip back into old patterns, but we now have tools and resources to help each other in love to come back - and we have the phone number for our family therapist, which never hurts!
I don't know where this family journey will take us or how it will end. I do know it is a journey that we are committed to going through together. Maybe it is not even about where we end up, maybe it is more about the journey anyway. One day my kids will all be grown and on their own separate journeys, and at that point I will be with Sean. This is really about our journey, the kids are just icing on the cake.
I know that Sean has loved me even when I was unlovable, as I have him. I know that we are both committed to at least the next 22 years and beyond. I know this life would be a lonely place with no one to share it with and am glad for today we have each other.
As Julia's husband said to her in the movie, "You are the butter to my bread"