Lessons Learned

I don't think I will earn the trip to Atlantis. I am really not all that sad, I think I have peace in knowing I did all I could do, it just was not the right timing. I trust God in all aspects of my life, and this is no exception. I have helped a lot of people this month, and honestly you can't put a price tag on that. Don't get me wrong, there was money earned, a significant amount actually if I look at the fact I really only worked about 25 hrs a week, but the money is just a side affect. I learned quite a bit about myself and life in general this past month, which will pay me far more than money in the long run.

- My kids are the most important thing in my life, and if I am a complete success at Reliv and fail with my family - I am no success at all.

- I cleaned teeth for 11 yrs, did other jobs before that, and realize for the first time in my life - I LOVE what I do. I feel like I was born to do this. I never liked school, because it felt like work. As a hygienist, I enjoyed the people, but the rest of the job just felt like work. Anything that resembled work - I disliked. Reliv does not feel like work to me - It feels like Fun!! That is why #1 is #1 - because this month I realized that I can get swept up in this and push my kids aside - it was a reality check for me. I can always do Reliv, and will for the rest of my life - but my kids will not always be here. So I want to plug into them 100% for now and do Reliv around them, not instead of them.

- I have also learned that you can't save someone who does not want to be saved. I have been putting 90% of my energy in people that are not wanting to move forward and 10% of my energy in the ones that do. I am going to do a 180 on that equation. I will continue to love and help those that seem stuck, but they will only get 10% of my effort. After all, I am giving up precious time with my family anytime I am working, so they need to respect my time as well.

- I have learned that I can set goals and accomplish those goals. I have always been afraid of goals because if I didn't reach them I thought I was a failure. Even though I did not make Atlantis, I reached every single one of my goals as far as what was within my control. That is a good feeling and the reason why I have complete peace.

I will close with two quotes that seem fitting at the moment:

"A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business." Henry Ford

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm." Winston Churchill

Bella - 10 weeks

Invisible Plane

It has happened, I am seeing things that are not there. The other morning as I sat at my desk praying, I opened my eyes and saw a plane cruising down the little 2 - lane road a few miles from our house. I did a double take - I blinked, looked again and sure enough there was a small jet cruising down that road! I hollered at the kids - they came SLOWLY and by then it was out of site!

I persuaded them to throw on some clothes - well, Lizzie, because her favorite attire is underwear only - and we jumped in the car to go find the plane. Lizzie was complaining and I said, "Hey, we are going on an adventure!" Jake didn't believe me for one second - so I could not wait to get over there and show him that plane. Well, we got there, NO plane in sight! There was a yard receiving lots of attention from big dump trucks - that is our guess that I saw one of the large trucks and thought it an airplane.

Needless to say - I have not lived that morning down yet. Jake keeps threatening to take me to the Asylum. I swear to you I can still see that image in my mind - I really thought there was a plane! It is really pretty hilarious. I am sure they will remind of that morning for years to come - and with good reason, I suppose.

I have been absent from my blog - I am working really hard, trying to earn a trip promotion to Atlantis. At this point it will take a plain ole miracle to get me there, but I refuse to give up until all hope is lost. I can't explain it, logically, it would be impossible to get there, but something keeps telling me I am gonna make it - so I keep trying. In the meantime, I am seeing a lot of people's lives changing - and Atlantis or no Atlantis, that makes all the hard work well worth it! Please know I miss you and will be on sporadic the rest of this month - please don't forget me!

"R" is for Reagan

Reagan wrote this poem, and beautifully framed it and gave it to me for Mother's Day:

What's it called when love is moving

through you so strongly you could drown?

Or when silence is so quiet it actually makes a sound?

Can a flower give you hope, like a

raindrop makes you wet?

If you sold all your compassion,

how much would you get?

If trust is what filled the oceans,

would you live a life at sea?

Or climb the highest mountain tops,

avoiding smallest streams?

Can passion make you dizzy?

Can courage make you blind?

Can kisses all be counted?

And if so in how much time?

If happiness only grew under the water

of the sea, are you sitting on the dock?

Or in a submarine?

What if people only fell in love to the

sound of a melodious ring?

Would you be the one to listen?

Or be the first to sing?

If you knew the angels voices were louder

than the monsters under your bed.

Would you still worry about tomorrow?

Or sleep with peace instead?

Knowledge we might have.

And wisdom we might gain.

But until we look inside ourselves

These questions still remain.

By Reagan Len Grabbe - 5/2009

Mom

Dear Mom,

Tomorrow is Mother's day and as some things never change - I thought it was next week until yesterday! So, I did NOT get a card in the mail. I will try to make it up to you next month when you come back home. We can celebrate your birthday and Mother's day all together.

I want to thank you for all those years you never complained about driving me to and from swim practice - even twice a day at times. You were always willing to haul me and my friends to movies, the mall or whatever activities we chose. I can not think back on one time hearing you complain. I wish my kids could say that, but realize they can not.

I thank you for teaching me from an early age that I came from genes of very strong women. Women that could overcome whatever came their way, as long as they leaned on their Lord and the other strong women they surrounded themselves with. I thank you for always being an example of pushing through the hard stuff and never giving up.

I thank you for always making me feel special. I felt like I was a treasure to you and that is a gift that can never be re payed. I thank you for listening to me when you were tired, helping me sort through my feelings and identify my emotions and helping me come to the other side of knowing what to do with it all.

I especially want to thank you for all of your support during my years of illness. I can tell you right now, if it would not have been for you and Sean during those years, I would have killed myself. It is a hard thing to say, but I know in my heart it is true. You guys stuck with me and persevered in helping me go to doctor after doctor, treatment after treatment. You were never willing to give up on me. When I would decide to throw in the towel and think I was just going to have to live that way - you never allowed me to give up. For this, I will forever be indebted to you.

I promise to you to be more patient. I know you are getting older and things that used to not bother you are now starting to. I will try to be more patient with your impatience. I realize that it may seem little to me, but to you it may seem like a big deal. I promise to listen to you more and really try to hear what you are needing from me. I promise to be there for you in the years ahead, just as you have always been there for me.

I hope you realize that you are an amazing woman and an amazing mother and I am very blessed that you are mine.

I love you - Michele

Fear of Failure

A good friend and I had quite a discussion about the fear of failure yesterday. She has found herself in that place recently, that place where the fear of failure is immobilizing her. I can strongly identify, as I have had the fear of failure all my life in so many different areas. I had an over achieving older sister, that was also my father's favorite. I always had the mentality that if I didn't really put forth true effort - if I didn't try with a whole heart attitude then when it didn't work - I wasn't really a failure. On the other hand,what if I what if I gave my all, I tried my hardest and didn't succeed? Then I would truly be a failure.

I don't want to claim that these thoughts never cross my mind anymore - but I have learned quite a bit in this area over the past few years. I have come to realize that if I don't do anything - failure is a sure thing. I also know that when God calls me to something, I can be like Jonah and run and and be miserable, or I can trust that He has a plan and give him all of me and see what happens. Honestly, that is what has helped me overcome my fear of failure more than anything else, the fulfillment of doing what God calls me to do and seeing the fruit He produces is truly healing for me.

I know one thing, the times I grow the very most are the times I come out of my comfort zone. I rarely grow when I am feeling comfortable, it is when I am willing to be uncomfortable that I grow. I have learned that I want more than anything else to be a woman of integrity. A woman that does what she says she will do when she says she will do it. A woman that her family, friends, co - workers, and customers can depend on without question.

Abraham Lincoln is a great example of failure leading to success - if he would have quit after one or two failures, we would have never even heard of him. I can't help but wonder how many "Abraham's" are out there that did give up one or two failures too soon and never made it to the other side to see the success of where God truly wanted to lead them.

I just think - "Where do I want to be in 20 yrs?" and "Is the path I am on today going to get me there?" I know one thing - I do not want to look back 20 years from now and wish I would have done more... I do not want to have regrets - things I knew I was called to do, but let fear immobilize me to the point I did not do them. I am living today to the fullest - I am looking at what has eternal value, not temporary value, and I am investing in those things. The most important things with eternal value - I believe - are people. I am investing in people. You know some of them will just flat knock you on your back, then walk on you as they walk on by. I will NOT let those people rob me of the joy of continuing this journey. The joys far out weigh the heartaches. I wonder why the heartaches seem to stand out more than the joys at times. Maybe it is just my perspective - maybe I am choosing to remember the one that stomped on me instead of focusing on the ten that I was able to help. I choose to allow myself to keep getting up, dusting off that dirt, and moving forward. Staying down in the dirt, is not an option for me.

Question...

It is A - Z Monday over at Unglazed...

I just have one Question for Q monday -

WHY THE heck did I think it was a good idea to get a new puppy?

we have not slept more than 4 hours a night for three nights and it is catching up ...

to answer your questions: NO we are not giving in -

Yes - she is downstairs and we are upstairs

Yes - we will buy earplugs this very day

Bella

I know you were all wondering how Chica would handle the new addition - well, she has mostly ignored her, much to Bella's distress. Bella would love for Chica to get rowdy and run around with her, but Chica is mostly ignoring Bella. It is a good thing though, because Chica has not acted overly put out about Bella and in fact, will go over and sniff her when she falls asleep. I am hoping they will eventually be good friends.

Reagan apparently makes a good bed. Reagan is hoping for a new running partner - we will see how that pans out. I am excited, the more exercise Bella gets the less energy she will need to burn off!

Here is the entire clan - I am not sure why Jake feels it is his job to make weird faces in pictures, most of the ones I have of him he is doing something like this... ??

Here is Bella - up close and personal.

Introducing...

Isabella May Grabbe "Bell" - Wait - that is NOT Bell - that is a human child... being silly.

This is not Bell either - boy, if we would have known how much Lizzie would enjoy the crate, we would have bought one for her years ago... It might have made life much easier when she was 2 - oh - never mind, guess that would be classified as child abuse...

This is her face when I MADE her get OUT of the kennel - I promise - I did not force her inside, I forced her to get out!!

NOW - with out further adieu - Introducing our new addition - Bell -

Well, that is her back end - she is not a camera ham like Lizzie apparently - funny to think in a few short months she will grow into this kennel. It seems to swallow her whole for now...

Here she is - Isabella - but you can't even see her cute blue eyes or her cute tail - but have no fear - this blog will be dedicated to her for the next few weeks or months or however long I want - cuz it is MY blog - that's why! So, you will be seeing so many pictures of her you will get sick and tired of her - but how could you with all that sweetness?

Dreams

I feel like my eyes are wide open and I am seeing life for what it is for the first time in my adult life. I think as kids we feel anything is possible, but somehow as we mature we begin to see limits and then set limits on ourselves and others. I think we have a few failures and then begin to doubt that anything is possible. We may still believe things are possible, but not always to us.

I think that is where I was - I had given up on lots of hopes and dreams and was just settling for mediocrity. Life gets busy, things get pushed out of the way, and before I knew it, that dream seemed like a far distant memory....

Well, NOT anymore!! I am dreaming bigger than I have ever dreamed. I am a successful business woman running a thriving business, that has not been affected in this economy - other than to grow. I am a successful mom with three beautiful, fun, persistent, hard working children. I get to witness miracles everyday within our own family and in those around me that God puts in my path. I am not afraid to dream anymore - I am not afraid to fall flat on my face in failure in trying to achieve those dreams. I now know all I have to do is get up, wipe the dust off and start going again. God is a God of miracles and second chances!!

Miracles He has allowed me to witness this week:

* 18 yr old college student who has suffered with migraines since the age of 3. She was experiencing daily headaches and 3 -4 migraines a week. Now, daily headache free and has only had 1 migraine in 3 months!!

* A wonderful sweet lady that I met at the mall - she was having 4 low blood sugar episodes a day with shaking and foggy thinking - Not one low blood sugar episode in two months, not one since her very first Reliv shake!!

* An elderly lady with a history of cancer and chemotherapy - she had never recovered her energy or stamina - she actually sent me a thank you card - my FIRST Reliv thank you card - she said, "I am so grateful you shared with me. I feel like before I was just existing and now I am living again!" OH my - I get thank you calls quite a bit, but the card shocked me - I will keep it forever!

* A gentlemen with bipolar that started just last Friday and told me yesterday he has a better sense of well - being already - He will be fun to watch!! I can't wait to see what happens for him.

* A type 2 diabetic whose fasting blood sugars have dropped from 220 to 119 in two months

* A VERY dear friend who suddenly began having extreme panic attacks and anxiety, after 2 weeks she is now sleeping all night and has not had a panic attack since starting the products

I could go on and on - but Dreams are coming true all over this nation, well and the world, to be honest. I am so very blessed to watch my own come true and now help others watch theirs come true as well!!

I am gonna continue to listen to God's voice each day, follow where He leads and dream big - because I know He is dreaming big with me and for me - He is a God of miracles, so look around you - you just might see one!