Gratitude

I used to spend about 90% of my time in bed or laying on the couch. Mostly in bed, in the dark, just barely making it thru each day. My health was very compromised and I felt like such a burden to my family that I was very depressed. God has brought me thru so much and now to have a life filled with hope seems like such a gift.

At first, I woke up daily feeling overwhelmed with gratitude. As humans I think over time we tend to somehow forget how bad things used to be once they are behind us. If this were not true, there would be a lot more only children in this world! Thank the Lord the pain of those things does lesson with time. Now, I don't often go back emotionally to where I was before, but suddenly one day something will trigger a memory that reminds me. That happened this weekend. When I go back and visit those dark days I am SO filled with gratefulness at where I am today that it is difficult to even find words to descibe it. I am so undeserving and so humbled by all God has done for me to bring me to where I am today. I am Happy, Healthy, and full of Hope for my wonderful future!

With each day being a gift, an unopened present with the hope of what is in store for me, I just want to be the woman God wants me to be. I owe Him SO much! I can never do enough to repay Him, but I just pray I am a blessing to someone else. Maybe someone who, like me in those dark days, does not see the light at the end of the tunnel and can't find their way. I will take their hand let them know they are not alone. If I survived by the grace of God, so can they!

Wide Open Spaces

I LOVE being out in the open country. When I begin heading home from town, there is a certain point in the road where I drive around a curve and it just seems less congested. All of a sudden there are fewer houses, fewer people, and I literally feel myself physically relax. It is like I can suddenly take a deeper breath than I could before.

I grew up in Texas, not in a huge town, but we lived in the country until I was 5. We sold our horse, butchered our two cows, and moved into town. I can still vividly remember the evening meal when my older sister informed me that I was eating my old pal, Blackie, the cow!! I was traumatized! I always lived in the city then growing up. I don't really remember feeling like I hated it or anything. I just don't think I totally relax until I get someplace where I have some breathing room. Like while driving out to the house now, I don't notice that I am not relaxed, until I make that curve and suddenly feel relaxed. There is just something within me that craves space, air, and elbow room.

My theme song for the day: "Wide Open Spaces" by the Dixie Chicks

Little Women Quotes

Jo March: He's dull as powder, Meg. Can't you at least marry someone amusing?

Marmee: Feminine weaknesses and fainting spells are the direct result of our confining young girls to the house, bent over their needlework, and restrictive corsets.

Amy: I don't wanna die. I've never even been kissed. I've waited my whole life to be kissed, and what if I miss it?

Amy: You don't need scores of suitors. You need only one... if he's the right one.

John Brooke: Over the mysteries of female life there is drawn a veil best left undisturbed.

Beth: I know I shall be homesick for you even in Heaven.

Jo March: I find it poor logic to say that women should vote because they are good. Men do not vote because they are good; they vote because they are male, and women should vote, not because we are angels and men are animals, but because we are human beings and citizens of this country.

Little Women

Tonight we are going to the play Little Women. It has been a series of plays, last time was Gypsy, which was REALLY good by the way, if you ever get a chance to see it. It is pretty exciting here in ole Bozeman, MT to get to see a Broadway touring group! I love the story of Little Women, so am pretty excited about tonight! The drawback is that we are in the nose bleed section. We didn't realize when we bought the tickets that they were that high up. The good thing about that is there are not many people around us, so we don't have to worry if Lizzie talks louder than she should. Sean and Jake like it because they just spread out whereever they want and have all the room they need to be comfortable! I will give you an update tomorrow and let you know how it went!

Lizzie and Chica

I couldn't resist putting this picture on here. This is my 6 yr old, Lizzie and my 2 yr old Chihuahua, Chica. This is how we all feel coming to the end of Holy Week. It is the greatest week of the year, but the most exhausting as well! Don't they look sweet in Daddy's big recliner?

We have 2 services left in the week. Well, I do, my older kids are singing in 2 services tomorrow and accolyting in one, so they have 4 more to go. Tonight it is Easter Vigil, the first celebratory service after so many somber ones the past 2 days. After church we always have an Ice Cream Sundae bar and everyone that gave up a food for Lent brings enough of that item to share. It is usually really fun!! Then of course church tomorrow, with millions of people. There seems to be a lot of "Easter and Christmas Episcopalians". That is my observation anyway, probably true for all denominations, but I didn't notice it so much when I was baptist...

Happy Easter, everyone! May your life be filled with Joy, Peace, and of course - REST!!!

Jake's Gift!

Well, here it is folks: Jake's birthday and christmas gifts for the next 10 years!! And acually any other occasion that a gift might be called for... Black Baby Grand in a log house... doesn't really go, should we get the sander after it and destress it a little???

Holy Week!

I LOVE Holy Week! I was raised southern baptist and I never even knew holy week existed. I can remember my pastor preaching about Palm Sunday. Then we came to church on Easter in our hats, beautiful dresses and gloves. I really love being Anglican and going thru the entire week before the celebration of Easter.
This morning as we processed and sang with our Palm leaves, I was brought to tears. I just felt so close to my loving saviour. It was wonderful!! I am just so excited for this week. It is not a week of joy. It is a week of deep reflection for me, thinking of not only the sacrifice Christ gave for His life, which I am deeply grateful for, but I just feel such deep gratitude for all He is doing for me even now. I guess with Lizzie's birthday yesterday I feel so humbled by how far God has brought me in the past few years. I am so grateful not to be in the dark scary place I was 6 years ago. I was so ill, I did not know what was really wrong with me, nor did I know how to fix it. I was so afraid and depressed at not knowing what my future held for me. I felt like such a burden to everyone, as my family took care of me instead of me caring for them. I used to wake up in the morning and have no idea how I was going to make it thru the day. Now, I wake up in the morning and have so much hope for not only today, but my future is very bright! God has been so good to me. I pray I can use my life as a sacrifice to give back to Him some small way for ALL He has done for me! I could never make even a small dent compared to how much He has and continues to do for me, but I will give Him my life each day to do what He wants to with it.
Easter morning will be a day of celebration, indeed!