Nothing

I have gotten on here three times this week - but I am blank. I have nothing to write about. Oh - my heart is full of joy and I have so much passion and excitement about life that there are hardly words for it. Maybe that is it - I can't find the words to describe how I feel - in fact it seems that since there are no words that writing about it all seems to cheapen it somehow!

I guess think about a time you were filled with AWE - truly in AWE of something - like a beautiful double rainbow - or the day you walked down the aisle - if you have been married - that feeling you had BEFORE you knew the things that were gonna drive you nuts about that person had emerged - the blissful state of wonder. When you think of that - THAT is what this blog is suppose to say but I can't find the words for.

That is how I feel 95% of the time - it is MARVELOUS!!!

Time

Here is Lizzie at the Grizzly Discovery Center. The are placing food out in hidden places before the Bears are released into the enclosure. This is in West Yellowstone and one of our favorite places - oh Lizzie is in the pink shirt with the dark pants.

She is so cute! I wish I had gotten a good picture of her face - but this is the best there was. We had been camping for several days and yes, she does look like a rag a muffin. At this point I looked like a homeless bum, so it is only fitting.

My post has nothing to do with any of that really - well maybe it does. You see, I am really busy and there is never enough time. So, unless I am up early and have time before my walk and prayer time to blog - it doesn't happen. As you can tell by my recent blogging activity I am rarely up that early...

You see, if there is not enough time - I need to set my priorities. I am walking a minimum of 4 times a week, and I must spend time with God in the morning or the whole day seems to suck - then of course School and Work - so my leisure time is rare - and if I have to choose between blogging and spending time with my family - I will choose them.

BUT - I miss you all very much and love when I am up early and get to visit your blogs and say a brief HI.

Finally

I can't believe I finally get it!! It only took me over two years. Sometimes I am a little slow, or maybe it was just a process to get here, who knows. I know God called me to do Reliv. I have known for a while now that it is what I have been searching for all my life - a mission. I love helping people and have enjoyed that aspect for a long time - but I still wasn't getting it, not really.

I think when you are struggling financially it is easy to put your eyes on the money and not the mission. I think I have been somewhere in between for a while now. But through a lot of prayer and a lot of revelation I have come to realize that we have struggled financially for 22 years of marriage. We have never had "extra" money. Don't get me wrong, we have been truly blessed and God ALWAYS provides what we need - we have been comfortable. At the same time, it is always a struggle paying for the kid's lessons, dental stuff, car repairs/tags, all those everyday "extras". So - that is why my eyes kept shifting to the money - not that I desire to be wealthy, just to not have to worry anymore about where the money will come for things we need. I think when you don't have enough money - it is on your mind more.

Well, this is NOT about the money. Are you feeling brave? Really brave? Then when you are finished reading this - go to google images and type in "starving infants". It will shock you. There is actually a picture there of a boy eating the excrement from a cow - literally before it hits the ground. Sorry to be so graphic, but now do you see why the money is NOT important? It is so about building my business so we have more distributors feeding these hungry kids. Reliv is feeding over 42 thousand people, mostly children, all over the world right now. We feed them every single day - the best nutrition available, in my opinion. Those 42K are thriving! You can see before and after pictures Here

I could give $500 extra this month and that would be great - but what happens next month and the month after that? We have something that is literally beginning to change the world. I will build my organization so that more and more kids are being fed every day for month after month. Also, we have water systems in Haiti where they not only get clean water for their shakes every day - they can come all day long and take clean water home to drink! We are building schools for them to have a safe, clean environment to grow and learn in - so they can break the cycle of poverty they were born into.

So - money is really very trivial at this point in my mind - it is about these starving children - and that is driving me to share more than anything else ever has.

"If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich." - John F. Kennedy

Bright

I was playing with my camera on my phone. Do you ever do that? Just start taking random pictures? Well, I don't know if you have a Blackberry - but the flash is SERIOUSLY bright! Of course the room was kinda dim so the flash was blinding. Every time I took a shot, Lizzie would slam her eyes shut - only she wasn't trying to slam her eyes shut - cuz she is a ham and LOVES her picture taken! Anyway, when I took this last one - she was prepared! I laughed for a while about this!!

Her solution seems so logical doesn't it? Just manually hold your eyes open and they don't inadvertently shut on you!!

My Mama

My Mom has fibromyalgia. She used to be on a cane all the time and a walker part of the time. She could not do stairs very easily - if she was in a situation she had to do them she would be super duper slow and then have lots of pain later. This year she walked a mile for the Kalogris Foundation! At this point in the picture she is feeling like she may not make it. I LOVE that two good friends, Doug on the left and Zak on the right came along beside her and encouraged her.

She did make it to the finish line! Here we are - three generations! Reagan, Mom, and I. See that joy on her face? I am so proud of her! She LOVES the Kalogris foundation, well we all do. Over 42 thousand starving people, mostly kids, are being fed every single day through this organization. 100 Percent of donations go straight to the kids - 100 %!!! Look at other organizations and you will see why this is so amazing. Go to http://www.relivkalogrisfoundation.org/US/EN/Testimonials.html to see before and after pictures of some of the kids.

It was so worth getting up at 6am and walking a mile - It would be worth much more than that actually to begin to change our world for the better.

I love my Lord

I love my Lord. I came to love Him as a child and have loved Him ever since. Of course, He loved me even before I knew about Him.

When I was ill I couldn't find Him. I tried to pray, but usually just had to read Psalms as my prayers because there was nothing in me to pray. I wasn't even sure God was there - I couldn't feel Him like I had before. I was also angry at God because I did have enough faith to know that if He wanted me instantaneously well He could do that. So, why was I left to suffer?

I once heard a story of a mom tucking her little girl into bed. The little girl was scared and the mom's reply was: "Don't be scared, honey, God is here with you". To which the little girl replied: "Sometimes I just need someone with skin on".

I realize now that God was right there with me. I also realize he held me, loved me, cared for me through people all around me that had skin on - Like my precious Reagan in the picture above. This over responsible oldest child carried a heavy burden while I was sick. She was substitute Mama to Jake and Lizzie and my caregiver most of the time. I beg God to bless her 100 times what she has given to make up for the childhood things she missed out on in those five years.

Now, that I can call on God and feel Him anytime I want - I never want to forget those dark times when I could not. Because there are people out there right now in that dark place - and they need someone with skin on - I want to be that for whoever God places in my path to do so. I pray God opens my eyes, quiets my mind, and stops my own agendas so that I notice them.

Desire

I heard something interesting the other day and am still pondering it. A friend was talking about people that say they want change in their lives, yet do not really do their part to bring about that change. I think I have been there at different times in all sorts of areas of my life. For some people it might be health, or weight or their job or their living situation. I also know people whose entire lives are in utter chaos all the time. Praise God I have never been there. If you look closely though, often you can see the reasons by the choices people are making.

I don't even think it is the big choices - I think it is a bunch of bad little choices that put them there. It is making poor choices every day that will eventually catch up with you.

After hearing this conversation I came away with a few things. I say I really want to lose weight and be healthy - but do I REALLY mean it? Do I mean that I am willing to be consistent and persevere? Because I think that is the key to any change - doing something consistently. In my business, people take two shakes a day - every day. It is a commitment to themselves. Those that are consistent get results, it is that simple. Have not seen ONE person that was consistent not get results in almost 3 years now, no matter what they were dealing with. The people that take one shake, sometimes two, leave their product at home when they go out of town do not get their lives changed. It seems pretty simple really. I must be willing to get up 30 minutes earlier several times a week and exercise. I must be consistent with my Slimplicity. I must say no to that cookie occasionally, etc...

When I flew in Ft Worth in February I could barely get my seat belt fastened on the plane. It was embarrassing and scary. I came home and started Slimplicity in March and began walking 20 minutes 3 days a week. I totally forgot about the seat belt. So, in August when we boarded the plane for St Louis a dread came over me. I went to buckle and I had 5 or 6 inches of extra belt!!! What a fabulous feeling!! Am I where I want to be - No way - but I am daily choosing to continue on this journey. I have the tools, my Slimplicity and my treadmill - the rest is up to me.

The main area that popped into my mind while listening to my friend was my anxiety. I never had anxiety before I was sick - but it was devastating and debilitating. I have come a long way with Reliv in this area, but there are still things I struggle with. I did not drive for four years without my mom or Sean because when I would have my reactions I wouldn't know how to get home. Well, once Reagan got her driver's license I would go out with the kids again because I knew if I got sick Reagan could drive. Well, now Reagan has left home so guess who doesn't go many places when I am the only one home? And even beyond that - I only drove with Reagan, mom or Sean - not alone. I am now bringing all of this out to accountability because guess what - I am no longer sick. I will know how to get home and so I am venturing it out. I WANT to drive again - alone - anytime I want or need to go to town. And if I really WANT to drive then it is up to me to do my part - get my butt in the car, even if I am afraid and do it. Slowly and consistently, going further all the time until I get where I want to be. Or where God wants me to be anyway.

So, I am looking at people differently. When they say they want change, I am watching their feet, not their mouths - and holding myself accountable to the same standards.